Sometimes I sit and wonder what old people do all day. I know I will be there someday and it is going to suck but, seriously, what the fuck do they do? I would probably drink a lot. Do they sit around and talk about the good ol’ days? That really has got to be boring after a little while. I guess they can rock on their porch and/or whittle a fuckin’ stick but, come on, what else is there to do. B-I-N-G-O???. Yeah…I back that.
Drug dealers have now come up with an idea that will not only give the old folks something to do but it will also endanger all of us in the process. The newest form of the drug mule is the AARP and they are notoriously bad drivers. I don’t mind if an old person is toting drugs around the country. I just fear for my life because they have the tendency not to check their blind spots and leave their blinkers on for 25 miles and that infuriates me. Can they not hear it clicking with their super-hearing aid powered ears?
Put yourself in the shoes of a highway patrolman. If you see some old white lady driving down the road with a Florida license plate, what would you think? Maybe, she is driving to North Carolina to visit her grandkids or she is playing in the national bridge tournament in Washington, D.C. because these are things that old people do. They DO NOT put “33 lbs of premium pot” in their trunk and drive it around the country — or so you would think. According to the News and Observer in Raleigh, NC, “In 2007, at least 44 elderly people were arrested for trafficking everything from marijuana to powder cocaine.”
Ruth Davis is one of these drug mules. She found herself at a low point in her life and needed money. She was offered the chance to drive a load of heady nugs for a drug dealer to make some cash. She felt like it was the perfect plan until she got pulled over for speeding in Johnston County, NC. She must not have heard that old people are notorious for driving slow in the fast lane.
She is now being deported back to Scotland after living in the States for 40 years because she never bothered to become a US citizen. Come on, lady. Didn’t you learn your lesson after watching Elian Gonzalez get booted back? She knows no one in Scotland and is going to be forced to stay there. Hopefully the drug dealer paid her half upfront so she will be able to buy a kilt and bagpipes to fit in. That would suck. At least she only had to spend 6 months in a Johnston County jail with some of the classiest people in the state of North Carolina.
This guy is not a drug mule (that I know of) but he is pretty badass and fits the stereotype of old people behind the wheel.
I am sure that Southern Fried Football is pumped about this guy ganking all of their ECU pictures and putting them in a slideshow. I think these pictures were about 2 or 3 years ago but it is good to see some familiar faces. It gives a pretty good representation of ECU. Let’s Go Pirates!
Check out SFF! It has a some pretty good-looking girls at a bunch of different schools’ tailgates. Hell, they even have Wofford and I think they even talk about football a little.
I haven’t seen something so bad that it was this good since I saw David Garrard and the ECU Pirates do something like this on Greenville’s public access channel. This might actually make me want to watch the Orioles this season.
These may be some familiar brands to people that are commonplace on the shelves of the local grocery store or beer & wine shop. Magic Hat is going to respect the history and reputation of Pyramid.
I believe this will benefit both Magic Hat and Pyramid because it will give the Magic Hat name a better reputation at international beer competitions and it will help Pyramid out with the advertising/marketing aspect of sales. Magic Hat has become one of the leading “heady” beers and I have seen it kudzu from Vermont all the way down the East coast on draft and at grocery stores and beer and wine shops. I am sure that it is expanding even further to the west but I haven’t traveled recently so I can’t say for sure. There were even Magic Hat girls (reps at the bar) last year when I was in Greenville, NC. They gave away some cool key chains, condomns, coozies, etc.
Check out their beers. Each company, soon to be one company, has a variety of seasonal beers and a few year round selections. My favorite one from Pyramid is the ThunderHead IPA. Magic Hat always has a crazy seasonal pack going around. Check out some of their OddNotion, too. It is a special brew that they only made one batch of.
Now you prepare that Fetzer valve with some 3-in-1 oil and some gauze pads. And I’m gonna need ’bout ten quarts of anti-freeze, preferably Prestone. No, no make that Quaker State.
for driving slow in the fast lane.
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